October Media Review: Hellraiser

Spent the weekend doing a lil Hellraiser matinee. Well, I watched like three of the ~10 films. Enough. No more Pinhead. No more Cenobites, and no more chains.

Hellraiser II

I thought this one was good? Can’t remember the last time I watched it, but thought the practical effects were quite good. No, not really. The all-muscle-no-skin baddies look cool, like straight out of a medical book. Sadly, that’s about it. There’s one scene where a guy cuts himself up, but instead of multiple lacerations, he justs smears around his blood. I think all that stuff flew under the radar in VHS and DVD, and now it just looks goofy. Like, the main new bad guy with his tentacle fingers - no. Just looks goofy, like a bad Harryhausen clip.

Hellraiser III

Here they thought more attractive actors will make the people come (to theaters)(ha-ha). The male bad guy sort of looks like a gay porn star, the female lead is actually from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. She played an alien that’s basically a symbiote with some sludge inside her. She’s pretty good looking. The dialogue is not so good, though. This is even more of a theme park ride than II. The CD Cenobite is an all-time classic.

Hellraiser IV

Ai ai ai. No es bueno. No good, senor. We are travelling through time, seeing the origins of the cube, and the cube in space in the distant future. There’s a dog that looks like the Resident Evil dogs, but stronger. The funniest bit is at the start, when a robot assembles the cube, and promptly explodes. Pinhead is back, too, as well as some sexy demon lady from the French past. Angelique. Woah. I didn’t finish this one, and decided to end my Hellraiser matinee.

Voltaire - Candide

Finally finished this book from the 18th century, just like that devil’s cube from Hellraiser! No Cenobites, but lots of nasty people doing nasty things. People get tortured, raped, mutilated, and killed, and Voltaire describes it all like a jolly day at the park. We really live in the best of all possible worlds, huh, Leibniz?
Basically this is a satire on Leibniz’ philosophy of optimism. But it’s also an old-school road adventure through the Old World and its unforgiving brutality. Very recommended! Smart, brutal, and funny.

Randy Shilts - And the Band Played On

Sad book about the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s, with a focus on the gay community in the US. Pretty shocking how many lives that virus took. Also, I just did a dumb mistake, and deleted half of this post. Shit. And the Band… is one of the best journalistic works I’ve ever read.

Autumn Steam Sale - Video Games

A Steam sale is currently happening, until 7 PM CET this Thursday. That means you can buy video games for cheap, like 1-2 bucks. Or more! I’ve got Warsim: The Realm of Aslona and Armoured Commander II (?) in my cart. Both old-school-styled games, no graphics, just ASCII characters in various colors. Basically think C64 or Apple II strategy. Will report back if they’re any good.

Klezmer

Downloaded a bunch of Klezmer albums, because I felt like it. The Klezmatics are easily the best of the bunch, if it weren’t for Naftule Brandwein, king of the Klezmer clarinet. Other notable bands include: Brave Old World, David Krakauer, Flying Bulgar Klezmer Band, Klezmer Conservatory Band, Sid Beckerman & Howie Leess, Margot Leverett, and Mikveh.

Possessor

Body possession horror film by the son of David Cronenberg. Not bad, some nice practical effects. Actually the whole film is practical effects, no CGI. There’s a particularly striking one, where the bodies get reassembled like water running off a surface, but in reverse. You have to see it. Felt indifferent about the whole movie, but this I liked.

Fyodor Dostoevsky - The House of the Dead

Currently reading this. It’s a semi-autobiographical account of Dostoevsky’s time in a Siberian prison camp. Nice descriptions of the various inmates, their psychology, and the social dynamics between the different groups. Voltaire would’ve made a joke.